Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
