dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
