It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
