They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
