Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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