playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
