nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
