I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
