you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
