i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
