I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
