shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He? As in you personified your dick?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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