Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
