So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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