either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
