Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
a search helicopter?!
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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