you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
