The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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