yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
