Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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