she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
