Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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