The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
