You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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