Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
