I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Farmville is her only friend.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
