you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Send help, water and tortillas.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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