twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
