Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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