I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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