ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
