What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
