is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
