i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
