I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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