Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Porn is love you can see.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
