the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
