I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize