he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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