Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
