I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
