I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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