Yo dont text me then not text me
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
