I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
