The best revenge is premature balding
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize