i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
