i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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