i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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