I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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