Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
