none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the day after is always just damage control
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
