drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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