Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Damn victory sex feels great
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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