people are starting to question the shark bite story
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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