Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize