Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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