he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
