another moral hangover. fuck.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize