Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I look better un-naked...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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