I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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