I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I love having hate sex.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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