plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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