Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
3pm strippers are depressing
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
